The Almighty Smurf Brigade
by StargateNerd1O1
Summary: SG1 return from a planet looking a little.. blue. Within a few hours, the entire SGC had turned blue, and Hammond had locked down the base until they find out how to turn them back. A base full of bored, blue people? This should be interesting..


**Summary:** SG1 return from a planet looking a little.. blue. Within a few hours, the entire SGC had turned blue, and Hammond had locked down the base until they find out how to turn them back. A base full of bored, blue people? This should be interesting..

**Spoilers: **Up to about season six. Nothing major though, just hints and references here and there.

**Author's note: **My first bash at a SG-1 fic, so feedback is most appreciated. Tell me if I'm totally OOC, or anything. Enjoy!

.._x_

"Unscheduled off-world activation." Walter's voice rang out across Stargate Command as the all too familiar red lights began to flash, and sirens began to wail. The technician shut the iris just General Hammond entered the control room.

General Hammond didn't need to order Sergeant Harriman to announce whether or not an IDC code had come through. Six years into the program, everyone know how it worked.

Even the newbie's learned quickly.

"Its SG-1 Sir." Walter said as an iris code flashed up on screen.

"Open the iris." General Hammond ordered, leaving and heading to the gate room, wondering what SG-1 had done this time to arrive back six hours early.

The general stood at the bottom of the 'gate ramp, waiting for the team to come through the puddle. There wasn't staff weapon shot's rushing through the stargate, and blowing the newly fixed 'gate room apart, so that was a good sign.

Hopefully.

Before General Hammond could think of what else could have gone wrong, a very depressed looking SG-1 stepped through the gate.

They weren't just sad looking, they were actually blue. Any bit of visible skin was bluer that an air force dress uniform, and it was a strange sight, three blue humans and a blue Jaffa. And one very wet Colonel O'Neill, weirdly enough.

"Feeling a little blue Colonel?" General Hammond couldn't resist himself.

Jack O'Neill pulled off his hat, revealing blue tinged hair.

"Just a little Sir." Jack smirked.

General Hammond smiled. "What happened?"

A pissed looking Daniel stepped off the ramp. "Well General, Jack decided it would be a great idea to touch a weird looking blue flower, and it turned us blue."

"Only after O'Neill threw a large amount of the strange blue flowers at us." Teal'c said, the serious look on the Jaffa's face looking ridiculous against his blue skin.

General Hammond raised an eyebrow. Sometimes it was better not to ask.

"I didn't think they'd turn us blue!" jack protested. "You'd think the locals would put a sign up or somethin'."

"Saying what?" Daniel snapped. He obviously wasn't enjoying being blue.

Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Somethin' like 'don't touch the pretty flowers, they'll turn ya blue?' would work for me."

"Colonel O'Neill jumped into a river, and tried to wash it off, but it didn't work." Sam said, explaining why her CO was dripping wet.

The general sighed. He wasn't even going to lecture Jack about how dangerous it was to jump into an alien river. There could be anything in the water.

"Report to the infirmary, and we'll debrief in an hour." General Hammond said, interrupting the already starting argument between his 2IC and Dr Jackson.

SG-1 walked out of the 'gate room, and towards the infirmary, hoping the good doc would have a miracle cure for their blueness.

..x

"Haven't you learnt anything the past six years Colonel?" Janet sighed, facing one of her four blue patients.

"I didn't think it was possible for flowers to turn you blue." Jack shrugged as Janet flashed a light in his eyes. "Ow!"

"It as an alien planet Jack. Anything's possible." Daniel said from the next bed over, where a pretty young nurse was checking him over .

"He's got a point Sir." Sam interjected, hopping off a bed, and grabbing the jacket of her BDU, pulling it on trying to disguise the fact she was completely blue.

"Who's side are you on Carter?"

"The person's who didn't turn me blue sir." Sam replied.

Jack looked at his team. "C'mon! This is fun! We're blue!"

"Can't say I agree with your excitement in looking like an overgrown smurf." Daniel said, standing up.

The three other member's of his team walked out the door, Jack following closely.

"What's wrong with being a smurf?" he yelped, dodging a freaked out looking Lieutenant.

..x

"Well, at least we know why the natives didn't touch the 'pretty blue flowers'." Daniel sighed, leaning back in his chair.

The had just finished explaining what had happened, in full, to General Hammond, who seemed to be having trouble keeping at straight face as he sat before the smurf-like team.

"I dunno. I kinda like being blue." Jack pondered, twirling a pen between his fingers. Jack was like that. He was always fiddling with something, or doing something during briefing's and debriefings.

It was an almost childlike habit.

"Well, we'll get everyone who can working on a cure, and I'm sure they'll be very thankful for the bunch of blue flowers who stashed in your backpack Colonel." General Hammond said pointedly.

Jack shrugged. They would have come in handy for pranks, or threatening people.

"Until then, I'm pulling you all off active duty, and confining you to this base." General Hammond finished.

SG-1 groaned. They had expected to not be allowed off base, but not being allowed off world? General Hammond was probably right in doing it anyway. Blue people randomly walking out of a puddle like substance isn't really run of the mill.

It'd scare the natives…

"Dismissed." General Hammond said, walked towards his offices as Sam and Jack stood up respectfully.

Sam gathered up the bunch of paper she had in front of her, and spoke. "Well, I can catch up on some research I've been wanted to do now."

"Aw, c'mon Carter! Lets do something fun." Jack protested.

"You're on your own there Jack. I've got some really interesting files on Arabic hymns I've been wanting to read." Daniel said, leaving the room quickly.

Teal'c inclined his head. "I think I shall go kel'no'rem."

Jack made a fighting motion. "C'mon T! Don't you wanna do a bit of sparrin'?"

"No thank you O'Neill. I am fine." Teal'c said, nodding towards Sam, and exiting the room.

"Carter?" Jack said hopefully.

"Sorry sir, but I really want to do this research." Sam smiled at the puppy dog like face her CO was making.

"What if I just come sit in your lab Carter?" Jack suggested. "I'll be quiet, I swear!"

Sam thought for a second. Maybe, if she let him sit in a corner of her lab, he might shut up, and leave her work. Otherwise he'd be in every five minutes, complaining about how a newbie didn't enjoy getting the crap beat outta him by a blue man, or moaning about how he was missing an episode of the Simpson's.

"Alright then Sir."

He couldn't be that bad, could he?

..x

"Are you done yet Carter?" Jack asked, bouncing a rubber ball against the a less cluttered wall of Sam's lab.

"No, Sir." Sam said through gritted teeth. Letting her CO within ten feet of her lab was a bad idea. Letting in her lab, was plain stupid.

"Oh." Before Jack could continue his irritating bouncing, Walter's voice crackled over the intercom.

"_SG-1 to the briefing room. Repeat: SG-1 to the briefing room."_

Jack raised an eyebrow, but jumped off Sam's lab table, and the both walked out the door, into a very empty hall.

An unusually empty hall.

Sam and Jack jogged to the briefing room, wondering what in the heck was going on.

"General sir? What's going on?" Sam asked, ducking under Jack's out-stretched arm. Jack had decided to stop right at the door, and make it harder to get into the room.

General Hammond turned around and faced his 2IC, and Sam.

He was bright blue.

"Feeling' a little blue sir?" Jack sniggered. This was too funny. General Hammond, looking like a smurf? Jack had to get a picture..

Just then. Daniel burst into the room, ducking under Jack's arm.

"What-?"

"It seems our blueness is contagious Danny-boy." Jack smirked.

..x


End file.
